Here’s a tasty winter season treat. A while back, IamRob and I were discussing doing a small musical project, just for fun. After a long time of not-getting-around-to-it-because-like-I-have-that-kind-of-time, I finally got around to it. Here is the result:

Rob made the initial recording, with Nick contributing the bass line. My additions are some (not all) of the dissonant sound at the beginning, the harmonies at the end, and the overdriven guitar solos that aren’t recorded through a wah wah pedal.

(Yes, I’m aware that I haven’t been posting much, and that the last two have been audio posts rather than real pieces of writing. Give me a break; I had finals last week and now I’m on vacation. Gawd!)

Today’s entry is special: the first ever I Evolved Into This!? audio entry. This means two things. One, there will be numerous musical examples, which are much easier to deal with in a podcast-style format than in a text article. Two, those of you who haven’t been already will soon be blessed with the sound of my splendid voice.

(In case you’re unfamiliar with newfangled technology, clicking the little “play” button will make the sound begin. You can adjust where you are in the presentation with the little arrow keys to the right, or you can grab onto the little slider and move it around. This assumes that you have located your computer’s “on” button and have somehow made your way to this page without these crucial bits of common knowledge.)

I have been challenged. At least, I think I’ve been challenged, so I will respond as such. On the Shoryuken.com forums, a conversation broke out in the movie thread regarding the creation of Top 10s, Best ofs, and similar lists. When I expressed my own ambivalence about it, P. Gorath responded:

P. Gorath: I think it’s a good exercise to objectively rank things close to you. Deciding on criteria helps you focus what’s important to you and carry that moving forward.

And so, it is done. Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s.

To make this early foray a little easier on myself, this is going to be—conservatively, I think—a top 10 ranking of the greatest movies ever made. It is structured as a countdown, because these lists are always done as countdowns. The people who write them probably harbor the ridiculous notion that the audience cares enough to feel a sense of suspense about what the next title will be. Far be it from me to break tradition. You’ll have to start at the lowly 10th greatest film (these lists are never out of nine, 11, or 27) and work your way down to the Big Kahuna.

An interesting observation on the makeup of the list: the decade with the most titles is the 1970s, and the runner-up is the 1990s. No titles before the 1960s made the top 10, which is likely due to a number of factors. Having grown up in the post-studios, post-Brando age, I’m obviously more comfortable with movies made in the traditions I was born into. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate movies made during the earlier period. It’s that I apparently don’t appreciate them as much. There is also the influence of opportunity. Lists such as this one are inevitably biased towards the recent. Newer titles have a better chance of being seen, and, accordingly, a better chance of getting mentioned.

And now, onto the list.

10. Crumb (1994)

9. Psycho (1961)

8. Woodstock: The Director’s Cut (1970/1994)

7. Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (1985)

6. Fight Club (1999)

5. Pulp Fiction (1994)

4. Superman (1978)

3. The Godfather (1972)

2. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

1. Taxi Driver (1976)

There. Now everyone can feel free to “ha-rumph” about the worthy titles that didn’t make it, the unworthy garbage that I dared to rescue, and the unmitigated audacity of putting them in the order that I did.

I find that P. Gorath and I were probably too zealous in our use of the word “objective.” Subjectivity is in the nature of lists like this one. It is my conjecture that any attempt to objectively rank art or entertainment will eventually crumble under close scrutiny. It will reveal itself to be a function of the personal value system of the critic. Assuming the critic is being totally honest about what he appreciates in a film, there is no difference between a list of all-time favorites and a list of all-time greats.

This also means that lists assembled democratically aren’t especially worthwhile. If critics A and B like movie X more than critic C likes movie Y, then movie X only rises above movie Y by virtue of its popularity—which is utterly irrelevant to quality.

There were a few questions I asked myself in paring all my favorite movies down to 10. Did seeing the film leave a profound impact that lasted for days? If it did, the film would be considered for the list. Did I, at one point, have a momentary but consuming obsession with this film? This would goose the film up even higher. Was this film, at one point, considered my all-time favorite? It would be assured a spot near the top. For perspective, I limited my choices to films made during the 20th century. The jury hasn’t even come back in on the cinema of the 2000s yet.

The number one choice of Taxi Driver came easily. I asked myself: out of all the great film directors, who most deserves a spot on the list? Martin Scorsese has the distinction of making not just one, but two decade-defining masterpieces. He kicked off the 1980s with Raging Bull, setting the bar so high that everything after it was sure to pass beneath. And then there was Taxi Driver in the 1970s. These two films alone would distinguish Scorsese, even without the entirety of his body of work. I chose Taxi Driver for the simple reason that if I could discount all other Scorsese films, even Raging Bull, Taxi Driver is the one that would stay with me forever.